1.) Ask for an astronomical adoption/re-homing fee. You want $300 bucks for that pom-a-pug or chiweenie? What's that, it's not fixed? And you don't know when it last had shots? Bravo, jackhole, you just consigned that animal to the pound (which gives you spaying, shots and microchipping for your money). This mainly applies to my favorite treasure trove of duh, Craigslist.
2.) Make up cutesy sounding names for what is essentially a mutt. Pom-a-pug? Mutt. Labradoodle? Mutt. And don't go saying that "Trixie's mom is an AKC Pug and her father is an AKC whatthefuckever." The end result--the one you're trying to sell--is a MUTT.
3.) Give a tired excuse for why you're dumping the animal. The number one excuse here is "we just had a baby and don't have time for our cat (dog, gerbil, etc.) anymore." Really? Cats don't take up much time. If you train them right, dogs don't either. I hope someday your child doesn't have time for you. See ya in the home, wondering why Jr. doesn't call, write, or visit.
My other favorite excuse is that you're moving somewhere they don't take pets. Or you got a pet and can't have it where you are. I'm not the world's brightest bulb, but how hard is it to find a place that will take pets? Not very. It may take a bit more searching, but I've got two cats with me in an apartment right now that say it can be done. And it takes very little skill to check a lease and ask a landlord if pets are allowed.
4.) Don't disclose any medical problems or bad habits the animal may have (while asking for a shitload of money). Congratulations, you've just put that pet on the express bus to euthanasia. No one wants to unwittingly inherit a bunch of problems. Tell prospective homes what the issues are and let them decide if it's something they want to take on.
Follow all of these steps to the letter, and I'm sure we'll be seeing you here soon.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment