Bernese Mountain Fail.

rehoming advice needed

I need advice. I have a 3 year old male berner. Very sweet. Except that he has become extreemely dog aggressive. He us unaltered. Please no mail telling me how worng it is and that that we would not be having these issues if we have neutered. We know. What I need is information on rehoming so that I make sure he finds a safe new home. We cannot keep him. We ahve a neighbor dog who he hates. everytime they pass by he goes crazy. even broke a window trying to getout. He is marking in the house daily right in front of us. I am worried about our child safety. At the same time we know it is our fault and want to make sure we get his needs taken care of. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We cannot keep him.

You really want advice? GET THE DAMN DOG NEUTERED. Here's some more advice: don't say "please no mail telling us how worng it is" when the furry problem is marking the carpets daily. You know it's your fault, and you just don't care. May your inbox overflow with the stuff called hate mail. You should be ashamed of yourself.

It's super-duper sweet that you're worried about your child's safety, but I don't think I'm alone in thinking someone like you should never have bred in the first place.

Even more advice: learn to spell. You look like selfish lazy assholes enough without your butchering the English language.

I do hope this dog found a home that will a.) fix him, and b.) take the time to train him into the awesome dog that most Berners are.

Of Cats and Kids and FAIL.

Another two-for-one deal today. Sometimes the idiocy comes in pairs and you just have to roll with it.

First up:

Free Female Kitty

I believe she is almost a year and a half old. She is mainly black with some white and has big gold eyes! She loves to cuddle in your lap while watching TV but she also likes to be by herself sometimes. During the day she spends her time watching out the windows and playing with her toys. She is a wonderful cat, I just cant keep her because of my 2 year old daughter. My daughter has become very mean to the kitty so its time to find her a new home. She will come with a litter box, her toys, and the rest of a big bag of food. If you are interested in her please call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Followed by:

Cat needs good home--maine coon

I have a maine coon cat named Charlie that needs a new home. He’s two and a half years old now, is micro-chipped, and is de-clawed in the front. He’s a good, loving cat that we regretfully need to find a home for. We’re having our second child soon and are worried that Charlie will paw at the door and wake him up. Our first child, who is 16 months, pulls his tale and grabs at him already, so we feel like our house isn’t the best fit for him. Please let me know if you’re interested. Thanks, Ryan.

These ads test my common decency to the limit, because I want to a.) keep their phone numbers intact for obvious reasons, and b.) call them up and rage. I don't think that would be a very fruitful conversation, so I don't.

I would consider finding the child in the first ad a new home, but that's just me, and I'm evil like that.

The second ad mystifies me. I find it a bit of a reach that these people are really thinking that cat scratching at the door will wake the baby. Excuses, anyone? I think the truth is at the end of the ad. However, I will award a point for the most creative pregnancy related excuse to date. It's still really lame, but I'm glad you tried.

Really, how hard is it to teach the KID that the cat is not to be messed with? Saying "NO" when Jr. pulls the cat's tail is that difficult? You could just let the cat get a good swat in, and I'm 99% sure that the cat will be left alone.

You're also giving the kid a great lesson--that pets (or anything else) is disposable at the first sign of trouble. Let us know how that works out in your old age, would ya?